Philosophically Challenged

Some pain is physical. Some pain is mental. Some pain is spiritual. Some pain goes so deep that it shatters your heart and strips you of your sense of self. You want to cease to be but all you can do is breathe between the streams of tears and agonizing woes. They tell you “just give it time,” but time is only capable of making the pain easier to bear. Time can never make you whole again. But you don’t want time to pass. You don’t want to feel better because the pain is all you have left of him - the only thing left to hold on to.

All you want is for him to touch you again or for your phone to simply display their name telling you to answer their call. But those moments are now only memories of what was, not of what is or of what is to come. The world somehow manages to move on without you, pushing those precious memories further and further in the past.

You don’t want to do anything fearing that the smallest action or the littlest word will make it all seem like it never happened, like it wasn’t real. Did any of the time you spent together mean as much to him as it did to you? You want to know what he is doing, how he is feeling, who he is spending time with. But you are no longer entitled to the answers to these types of questions. You are left always wondering the answers to these questions and fearing that you will become a bitter, and overlooked, faded memory that is easily replaced and easily forgotten.

Weeping Willow
By: B.C.A.
Weeping willow, dry my tears.
In them you’ll find my deepest fears.
Hold me close and we will weep together.
I thought love was supposed to last forever…
My heart is now broken and my soul confused-
I wasn’t expecting my love to be refused.
Time doesn’t appear to mend my troubled heart.
Nothing seems to make sense now that we are apart.
“And they lived happily ever after” was what I thought to be true,
but our story ended with adieu, adieu, adieu.